


I Would Never Admit It

by ourna_kokichi



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Fic, Headcanon, IM CRYING REAL TEARS, M/M, Nightmares, do yall have any idea how hard it is to write dialogue for these fuckers??, mentions of nocturne/fiddlesticks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 22:29:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12220248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourna_kokichi/pseuds/ourna_kokichi
Summary: Even the most famous artists have things that keep them awake at night. Jhin is no exception.





	I Would Never Admit It

**Author's Note:**

> Part of an art trade with my gf Aster - I love you and I hope my horrible writing doesn't burn your eyes <3
> 
> It's really hard to write these losers interacting. I'm sorry to everyone reading this

Sleep came  slowly  to Jhin, but waking up was often instant.

This night in particular, he had the pleasure of waking up in a cold sweat.  The balcony door was wide open as he had left it, letting an unwelcome freezing draft into the room to further solidify Jhin’s discomfort  .  It had been awhile since he had last woke up scared enough to have to check all corners of the room - even in Tuula he had no reason to do such things  . It was almost pathetic,  really .

Coming down from his feverish state of panic, Jhin turned to grasp at where he thought his left arm should be. To anyone unfamiliar with his deepest fears, it would have seemed an odd thing to do; surely he should check if his heart's still beating first? If he’s _truly_ alone after what appeared to be a dream? It doesn’t matter to Jhin - he  just needs to know if his hands are still there.

He couldn’t bear to lose his hands.

What he finds isn’t a stump wet with blood and bone as he  vividly  recalled. It was all still there - healthy and uninjured.

Like it should be.

Jhin sighs, leaning back onto his bed in relief. He couldn’t believe he was losing sleep over such a childish fear; and an _extremely_ unrealistic fear at that.  Thankfully the cabal hadn’t summoned him for another performance yet, but whatever rest Jhin had hoped to get during his break wasn’t enough to keep away what lurked after night fell.

 

_ It’s  truly  pitiful to have one of the finest artists in  all of  Runeterra  be put  _ _into near hysterics over a simple bad dream,_ he thinks to himself, mind still groggy after his rude awakening .

 

“This isn’t _good enough_...” he mutters, hands rubbing his face in an attempt to get control of himself. He  just knows he looks like a mess, shivering and trying to relax in the crude makeshift thing he had to call a bed. It didn’t help that he didn’t have his mask on hand either - the object gave him a sense of comfort, even safety. Jhin was almost grateful that nobody was here to see him in the sorry state he was in…

“You don’t look so peachy over there, _Jhinny_.”

Hold that thought.

Jhin snapped his head up, eyes narrowing at the offending figure sitting on the edge of his balcony - he must have missed seeing it when he did his first panicked scan of the room, not thinking to look that  closely  into the shadows  .  He pulled up his covers  slightly  on instinct, watching as the shadow giggled and made its way through the curtains .

“While I will admit it is a more boring way to make an entrance, have you ever considered going through the front door, _Shaco_ _?_ ” Jhin asked, feigning annoyance at the sudden intrusion.  In truth, he didn’t completely mind the surprise visit (any company was welcome at this point to distract him), but he  really  didn’t want to look weak in front of this person in particular .

The jester only laughed more in response, perching himself upon the edge of the bed and swinging his legs,  clearly  feeling at home in the small apartment .

“It’s funnier to see the look on your face when you think you’re alone!” he replied, turning his head back to look at Jhin.  He was still wearing that obnoxious mask, much to Jhin’s chagrin, but he had a strong feeling that underneath it Shaco was grinning very  widely  . “I mean, it’s _always_ funny when they think they’re alone… but it’s so much better when it’s _you_!”

Scowling, Jhin sat back and crossed his arms as he watched Shaco erupt into a fit of laughter,  obviously  cracking up over some hidden joke in what he said  . While he was fond of the man, sometimes Jhin  just  didn’t understand his branch of comedy.  Although  admittedly  , it was kind of comforting to have him in the room with him - if there was anyone that could chase away most things that went bump in the night, it would be the demon jester himself .

While in his reverie, Jhin didn’t notice Shaco’s laughter  slowly  start to die down; it was only when the smaller man moved up to sit right next to Jhin did he even remember he was there at all . He spoke again, surprising Jhin with the sudden change in tone.

“So then, what’s troubling our _dear artist_ tonight?”

He almost shuddered; it had been a while since either of them had talked to each other like this.

He opted for a white lie. 

“Only the prospect that each performance could be the last,” Jhin replied - at least there was some ounce of truth in that . “Wouldn’t the thought trouble you as well?”

“Ah, I’m afraid not,” Shaco replied, his tone shifting back into the mischievous lilt he  normally  had. “My tricks will _always_ have an audience… whether they like it or not!”

The smile under his mask sounded like it had gotten a little wider at the end of that sentence.

Before Jhin could retort back with some kind of half-hearted comment about the artistic value of Shaco’s ‘tricks’, he  nearly  flinched when he felt something warm take hold of his hand under the covers  .  He looked up at the other man with a questioning glance, but Shaco was still staring out of the window,  seemingly  unfazed .

“Humour me for a moment, Jhinny-boy,” he said, side-eying Jhin a little bit. “Wasn’t it you who said that the stars of the show needed a good rest before their next big performance?”

...

 

So he _had_ noticed.

“I do believe it was,” Jhin replied, turning his head back to look out of the window as well. “But  I think  the same applies to all sorts of performers. _Especially_ those in the comedic arts.”

Jhin swore he heard a slight chuckle from underneath the mask, but decided against commenting on it  . The clown was right - he was in need of a good rest after his countless nights of waking up afraid.  He intertwined their fingers, relaxing as they both watched the night pass from outside the window. 

He missed moments like this.

He would never admit it, though.

* * *

Shaco didn’t  really  know how long he stayed there for - he didn’t care much for the usual passing of time, and in return it never cared about him . He guessed it was roughly a few hours before he heard soft snoring coming from next to him, though.

He looked to his side, a tiny smile forming underneath his mask. Jhin would normally _never_ let him see him like this, so vulnerable and weak in his sleep.  Hell, it was rare for them to even sleep in the same room at night anymore, with Jhin constructing more elaborate performances across the map nearly every week.

At least Jhin was very handsome. Moreso when he was asleep - Shaco would give him that.

He  carefully  extracted his hand from Jhin’s, trying to avoid waking the other man up.  It was clear that his old friend from the Institute was doing a number on him, but he couldn’t  directly  interfere; it was an unspoken contract when they had all parted . He wouldn’t interfere with their work, and they would do the same to him.

_Oh Nocturne… you really  are beginning to grate on my nerves, old friend._

The night was still  fairly  young, with the moon and stars still out playing when Shaco appeared on the balcony again  .  He liked it best when they all disappeared, like in his favourite trick -  maybe  one day he could make a star disappear himself ! An act to please even the most uptight of artists.

Laughing at the prospect, Shaco turned back one last time, observing the sleeping man.

He would be so easy to kill. It would be almost funny; taking down one of the most notorious killers in his own sleep. It would provide a great feast for the scarecrow, as well…

But he couldn’t do it.

Not anymore.

 

It was unheard of for a creature from the Shadow Isles to ever love a human. All Shaco had ever known was the love of killing them. But now, he thinks that he _might_ just love Jhin.

 

He would never admit it, though.

**Author's Note:**

> pfff gay
> 
>  
> 
> catch me on tumblr to talk about jhaco because i love them - same url as my name on here


End file.
